We need reassurance because we need help deciding.
Reassurance is social. We can’t possibly reassure ourselves, since we’re the ones doubting.
But what happens when we can’t get a second opinion? That’s when we have to make our own decisions.
Whether you know it or not, your brain is going through or has already gone through a deduction process.
For example, in buying a new pair of shoes:
- Is this the right pair of shoes?
- Do they fit?
- Do I really need a new pair?
- Are they comfortable to walk in?
- Can I afford them?
- Is today the only day they’re on sale?
- What do I do with my old shoes?
- Do they match what I often wear?
- Where will I most be wearing them?
- What will others think of them?
Most of these questions are predetermined before you even go to the store. The reason you’re trying shoes for example, may be because you actually need a new pair.
Whatever we decide, we’ll still seek social approval. We need others to justify our choice, even if they lie to us.
The smallest decisions can pose tough gut checks. No one can possibly decide for you because they can’t understand the countless variables and thoughts going through your mind. The choice is yours.
If you understood everything I said, you’d be me ― Miles Davis