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People need widgets

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People need widgets in order to meet other people.  The widget can be a dog, a beer, or a coffee, anything that increases the likeliness of people talking in a social setting.  People feel more confident and more engaged when they’re holding on to something and have a reason to be there.

It’s easier meet new people when we’re younger because there are simply more free time and more opportunities: at school, in organized sport, clubs, and countless other extracurricular activities.  Adults are either too busy or too jaded to participate in social activities every day.  That’s why they may go online and socialize on Twitter and Facebook instead.  It’s quicker, easier, and can be done from the couch.

People are social animals whether or not they prefer to be social.  We identify ourselves in comparison to other people.  At the end of the day, we seek validation. The central question we all ask is “Is anyone listening to me?”

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“I’m retaliating against my parents.”

Retaliation is sometimes disguised as rebellion.

Doing to opposite of what your told can be fulfilling. But disagreeing on purpose is really just rebelling for the wrong reasons. You know in the back of your head that your parents are looking out for your best interests.

Retaliation dwindles with age. Part of this is because your parents loosen up. They did their best on you. Your life is basically up to you after college. The other part of this is the requirements of survival.

Responsibility makes one conform to adulthood. Rebellion and angst cost more money than doing the right thing.

Identity is a key to happiness. But so is economics. As long as you’re honest in what you accept and deny you’ll never lose that edge.

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Life & Philosophy Productivity & Work

Never too late to try

Interests should evolve. As a kid, it was toys. As a teenager, it was video games. In college, it was social networking and dating. As a young worker, it was a continuation of college interests minus the time.

As a settled adult, interests are now wide open. With a clean slate, you may explore new activities, re-pursue an old ambition, appreciate art.

As you grow older you take an active interest in things you thought were once boring growing up. But you’re also less likely to experiment actually doing those things. Maybe you would make a good writer or History teacher?

Experience doesn’t equate to expertise. Once people get good at something, they stop wanting to get better. You can catch up to them with time and patience.

Obviously, things come much easier if you’ve been dribbling a ball at your feet or playing the piano since you were a kid. Those skills appear innate. But you don’t have to be great to try those things. Play pickup.

You can always convert curiosity into doing. Don’t settle with full consumption and leaning on others to make stuff for you. Create things you can call your own, even if they’re shitty. Learn what it feels like to start again.