The easiest way to get the failure out of your system is to bomb a few times so there’s less emotional baggage in the next endeavor.
If your struggles persists and you can’t successfully mock the channels of other people, make your own. There’s a long-tail out there for everybody.
Keep in mind that you wield the paintbrush. Building your own path is the antidote to fixedness of conformity.
“He drills his soul, as it were, in right principles, that when the time comes, it may be guided by them. To wait until the emergency is to be too late.” Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (Amazon)