On making life’s biggest decisions

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When it comes to decision-making, first you decide, then you deduce. Of course, life's biggest decisions such as marriage or a career change are some of the hardest decisions to make because the fear is that they won't work out. The bigger the risk, the greater the hesitation.

‘This might not work.'

People like to play it safe. It's easier to adopt the status quo than playing the long game and facing the fear of uncertainty. Chance is risky. Change is scary.

We're so scared of making a change that we outsource our decisions to other people. In other words, we seek their permission. Not surprisingly, our family members and peers recommend circling the race track rather than pursuing the labyrinth of self-discovery. Warns financial advisor and essayist/sketcher Carl Richards for the New York Times:

“People expect you to stay how you are, to maintain the status quo, to stay the course. And if you get bogged down looking for that affirmation to make a change, you may never make it.”

All believing is betting

People that do risk change — on their volition or because of a coin toss — usually end up thinking the best of it. When we change, we grow.

“Based on the results of tossing over 20,000 virtual coins, the study found that people were happier after making a major change, whether they did it because the coin forced their hand or because they decided on their own.”

The only person we need permission from is ourselves. Indecision is a decision, albeit, the wrong one. Still unsure? Here's your permission slip.

“Whatever it is, you now have permission to do it.”

Read Hesitant to Make That Big Life Change, Permission Granted 


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More than just a pipe dream

Dreams come and go but leave the loftiest impressions.

How is it that something can leave such a big imprint but rarely create a reality of the same intensity?

Accruing likes are rarely a good barometer of progress. The only validation of advancement is the grade you give yourself behind closed doors.

Imagination is one thing; dreams are another. The latter needs some hustle muscle. Life requires that you dream with the brain awake.

Visualization starts the heart and manifests the dream. Nothing is more lucid than real action itself.

Beyond ridiculous — that's the point. Have the courage to deserve it. More than apparition is a dream come true.

Whatever musters both desire and fear, do that!

art via @krikrak


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‘We are told stories as children to help us bridge the abyss between waking and sleeping’

We are told stories as children to help us bridge the abyss between waking and sleeping. We tell stories to our own children for the same purpose. When I find myself in danger — caught on a stuck ski-lift in a blizzard — I immediately start telling myself stories. I tell myself stories when I am in pain and I expect as I lay dying I will be telling myself a story in a struggle to make some link between the quick and the defunct.

We are told stories as children to help us bridge the abyss between waking and sleeping. We tell stories to our own children for the same purpose. When I find myself in danger — caught on a stuck ski-lift in a blizzard — I immediately start telling myself stories. I tell myself stories when I am in pain and I expect as I lay dying I will be telling myself a story in a struggle to make some link between the quick and the defunct.

Olivia Lang, The Trip to Echo Spring: On Writers and Drinking (Amazon)

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From bytes to bits of reality

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We demand privacy yet admit ourselves to the culture of exposure. But rather than celebrating our uniqueness, we publish the same things everybody else does: selfies, food porn, and bullet journal snapshots.

The one benefit to seeing other people's stories is the reinforcement of FOMO (fear of missing out). The unlived life taunts one into action. In such a way, FOMO can represent a positive form of encouragement. It gets off our screens and into the real world.

Life's richest data emerges from lived experiences rather than the pixels on a screen. Exposure carves us into beings rather than lemmings of technology's manipulative desires.

Inspired by adventure, we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and explore more of the parts unknown.


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Guilted into trying

Things are never perfect the first time around, a bit better than second, and mind a few tweaks, they seem be just about right in the third and fourth efforts.

The fear of failure is good quality control. It ensures that in the process of disrupting ourselves, we appreciate the challenge of ascendancy.

Riding the wave of uncertainty

The attempt to blaze our own trail is never easy. Being misunderstood for long periods of time dampens the mood. But there will always be more guilt in not trying.

Dreams require a ceaseless imperative of movement, the confidence to tread into unknown territory regardless of faith and doubt.


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‘Dreaming is like a psychological thermostat’ 🛌

Dreaming is like a psychological thermostat

Your brain works like a dishwasher when you sleep, cleaning out the dirty information and tidying up the important stuff.

But the mind also creates a theater inside your head. Dreams emerge from unrestricted consciousness. They remind us that the rational imagination can be soo sober.

Writes Emil Cioran in The Temptation to Exist

‘Anyone can escape into sleep, we are all geniuses when we dream, the butcher’s the poet’s equal there.'


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Have an exaggerated sense of curiosity

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We’re all fake artists, winging it to chase our dreams while simultaneously masking our vulnerabilities.

It isn’t a thorny question of attribution. We all steal ideas from each other and recast them as our own.


But having an exaggerated sense of curiosity pays off. The cash value of policing thoughts means that we can better sew the past, present, and the future altogether.

We are one, in mind and spirit. The only drawback is fabricating the best self that meets the lofty ambitions of others.

Nothing is fake if the desire is real. All we can do is float into the canvass of our dreams.


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